EnZweiDrei

well, buat marvin. You are the important person in my life, but please stay away from me. I am already dead inside because too much hoping on you. I just dont want you to suffer me anymore. Anyway, thank you for everything.

Ga tau, sekarang udah engga kayak dulu lagi. Sekarang dia sibuk dan jarang balas sms. I thought he is the one. But no, i am wrong. aku kira dia bakal bisa ngisi kekosongan hidup ini. Lagi, dia cuman memberikan harapan yang nggak jelas. Entahlah itu karena aku nya yang ga buat keputusan atau gimana. i am tired man, i hate for longing everyday. Udah tiap hari aja sekarang nangis. Ga ngerti, rasanya hidup yang kosong bakal dateng lagi. Kembali ke kehidupan tanpa harapan tanpa ekspektasi. Padahal udah sempat belajar ekspektasi tapi semuanya bakal hilang. Semuanya bakal kembali ke 0. Ketika aku harus bisa ngelepasin marvin dari hidup ini. Too much memories we had shared, but i still feel waste in front of you. Mungkin Nerisa pergi juga karena ngerasain yang sama kayak aku. Kita ga pernah maju dan hanya stuck disitu. Well, i do understand if the case is same. 

Tapi yaudahlah emang mau gimana lagi, hidup tanpa harapan adalah langkah terbaik sekarang. Sebelum terlalu lama dalam keadaan seperti ini. Sakit sih, tapi gimana. I cant do anything. I am a boy and he is too. Why we met in the first place if we were never meant to be. Tapi perasaan ini udah terlalu berlebih. I love him too much, i feel home when i am with you. But slowly, everything disappear. Entahlah ini yang keberapa kalinya i feel broken hearts. You know what, i love you without wax. Pure and never ask anything beside your love. 

Rasanya sekarang lagi butuh seseorang banget buat ngedengerin. But there was none. So all i can do is keeping up this pain alone. I am just too shy to express anything. But still my love for Marvin is real

If you only knew this marvin. It will be much easier for me

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